In today’s world of millennial dating it’s almost impossible to follow any kind of advice that seems to actually work since the dating game has totally changed for Millennial. Every report finds that the younger crowd is either too busy or too distant to engage in the old fashion ways of courting, and newer terms such as the hook up culture seem so cold to describe the dating scene. Not that dating is obsolete by any means, but we sure have seen how the game has changed and with all changes the old rules may just need an upgrade.
Sure we have come a long way in the last two decades with on-line dating, hook-up apps and all the wonders of social media but when comes to actual dating it is still in person so first date tips still do apply even to this day. So why is it more difficult today than before considering fewer people are dating even though technology has made it easier? Well that is a question that can take an entire book to answer.
The types of questions that I would like to answer are, what tips can you give for millennial first date ideas? Is modern dating advice a little different? What new dating tips for women are there? And, what new tips do you have on how to get a boyfriend?
Now to answer those questions, my observations have come from asking single men between the ages of 18 and 35 basically the same. Now considering the age range was a pretty wide spectrum (like almost the entire millennial gap) the answers varied but I was able to narrow it down to 4 common themes and I have molded them into tips. And here they are in no particular order:
1) Be Decisive.
Some of the men didn’t mind being the decision makers in relationships but I would say most of them, about 3 out of every 5, did want a girl who knew what she wanted. Now, this isn’t limited to a life goal as in a career choice but also something as simple as where to go for lunch or what their plans were for the weekend. It actually seemed guys wanted pure honesty about a girls schedule and not a total rescheduling of whatever she was doing so she would spend every second with them.
As they explained, most guys don’t like to cancel all of their plans to accommodate being with one person 24/7, so they don’t demand it from any girl they date either. They want girls to continue with whatever schedule they already decided on and later on they would enjoy some free time together.
Working men also included this in their vacation time as well. They claimed that even if they were going to be in a committed relationship, their girlfriend would have to understand that certain traditions were not going to change for her and she must decide to accept it.
So my tip here is show the guys you are a modern girl with a plan and you are sticking to it, I guess this shows them you both have something in common.
2) Be More Direct.
I heard the common term, ‘Don’t play games’ amongst most men but I required more details as to what they meant by that term. So ‘games’ was more of a broad term several of the men used for anything they felt was a form cryptic communication in many examples they gave from; women not saying what they meant, to women assuming they were being given hidden messages by something the men said, to women’s ‘over use’ of body language.
It only comes natural to us women to do the bulk of our communication through body language, such as the slight tilt of the head, the shy look with a timid smile to let a guy to know we like him or when we cross our arms in front of us to let him know we don’t feel comfortable, or sometimes when we cross our arms and twitch our thumb if we are not too sure of the guy talking to us, or when we clearly put our hands on our hips to let him know we are confident with him. All these signals are pretty clear to us and they should be clear to him too so he should take the time to learn them, right?
Well, that may have been the case in the past as men were the ones taking the active role in taking the first step, but it seems the new generation of men are much less interested in learning to decipher our passive signals and have taken up the ‘women need to speak up if they want to be heard’ approach. Maybe it’s because millennial men are busier than the previous generation or maybe they think with a new age come new rules, I am not sure but it is clear that communication between men and women is not the same as it was. And for as harsh as the possibility of rejection may be, millennial age dating trends seem to make the argument that women will have to risk it a little more and be less coy than the previous generation.
So in the tip of being more direct I would say it would be subjective to the situation as it seems men prefer we use more verbal communication than body language for our initial interactions. Also, men don’t usually hide any messages along what they say, they tend to speak their mind straight forward and they consider it to be silly when we think there is usually a hidden meaning to their words. Finally, I would say men just want us to talk to them the same way we want them to talk to us, and millennial men don’t seem to want to respond to our distant giggling signals anymore.
3) Dress for yourself and not for the part.
Who doesn’t like to dress super cute so a guy can give you a compliment? I know I do! But then comes the true question, are you dressing for yourself or for the guy? (We answered this question with more detail in our ‘SHOULD YOU DRESS FOR YOURSELF OR FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND?‘ article).
Well, that is for each gal to decide but I say it is good practice for him to accept you for you. Beyonce said it best, “The most alluring thing a woman can have is confidence.” And that is the thing you should wear better than anything else, your confidence.
Does that mean you are not dressing your best on your first date? No. It just means you aren’t really going to do a 180 degree change just for one date. Is there middle ground? Of course there is, I mean if you already know the guys favorite color is black and you have this cute pair of black skinny jeans you like to wear, well that’s a o brainer as to what to put on for your date. So I guess the best tip here is being you and he should love you for it.
4) Pay for dinner on the first date.
This tip is a 50/50 split and it really depends on the guy. If it were 10 years ago I would say this would probably be one of the dumbest tips I could give as women paying for dinner was almost a taboo. But in today’s era where 50 shades of grey, Hillary Clinton running for the Presidency and Female UFC fighter Ronda Rousey makes more than the male fighters are all the new normal, well women never paying for dinner is not so much a taboo thing anymore and more of rising topic. In fact, there have even been some Youtube videos debating the subject. Half the men I talked to are of the traditional mindset and prefer to pay for the date as they say, ‘It shows they can provide’, which is understandable as that has always been the traditional role.
But in a very interesting finding nearly half of all the men I had spoken with had claimed that a woman that was willing to pay for dinner on a first date would be considered ‘Uniquely distinguished’ from women who would not pay on a date. The most common reason was that they would make the men feel ‘appreciated and valued’ as some put it. Another reason was that it was a surprise giving the complete impression of ‘there was more to this girl than I first thought’ and it added to guys intrigue.
To close this tip out I would say it would really depend on the guy but if you are interested in him and you want to surprise him, pay for dinner. Wouldn’t that show him you appreciate him just as much as he appreciates you?
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